If you are at all curious to see how finicky, awkward, and lame I can be, then I urge you to watch this video
Here you can see first hand how I cannot sit still for longer than 5 minutes, how I bob my head too much in response to a question, and how I move around in my chair as if it were crawling with scorpions.
This was clearly my first video interview. So don’t judge me by this…the video took it easy on me!
I’ll be honest with you. It made me cringe to watch parts of it. While watching it, here is what was going through in my head:
Me: Why am I moving around so much?
Computer screen: … (as if the computer screen would answer)
Me: Did I really just say that? Who says “in actuality?” What a tool
Myself: Well, you are a tool, you idiot
Me: There is nothing on my face, why do I keep touching it? And why do I always awkwardly fill silent pauses with “ummm.” It sounds like I am Alicia Silverstone from Clueless. “Ummm, like , you know”
Myself: I’d like to take back what I said before. You are a big tool, a big idiot
The whole idea of a video interview is weird. You are NOT supposed to look at the camera. Whatever you do, do not look at the camera. Of course, what do you do whenever someone says don’t do something? You do it IMMEDIATELY!
Don’t look down!! Of course, you look down
Whatever you do, don’t think about the color Red. I know, you’re thinking something red.
Back to my weird inner-dialogue
Me: Where else am I supposed to look if I cannot look at the camera and need to look at the speaker?
Myself: Don’t be awkward about it, just relax
Me: I’m trying to relax, you telling me to relax doesn’t help me relax.
Myself: Please see above for my response (you are a big tool, a big idiot)
Me: Oh crap, totally wasn’t listening to the question he just asked
Myself: Just say something related, think of something, QUICK!
Me (totally blanking): umm, uhh,
Myself: You’re embarrassing yourself, I’m outta here
you get the point. Sure it was fun, but I think it made me realize that letting go the dream of being a movie start was probably the right choice…